Well folks. The trip is complete. We’re home. The long-anticipated trip has come to a close. So what are our thoughts?
Well, for starters, my reflections from the seminary tour were different than Bobby’s reflections. It makes me laugh sometimes how we take turns being the excited ones for seminary! Bobby’s reaction to seeing the seminary in action was more of a realization that the seminary is just, well, a seminary. It is a school. It has regular ol’ students. It isn’t necessarily going to be filled with hyper, giddy, Bobby-clones, all day every day all class period long. I think his ideals were given a reality check, in a good and helpful way. He wasn’t disappointed, or dissatisfied, or deterred. But it was just a different reaction than my, “THIS IS WHERE BOBBY BELONGS!!!” freak out from yesterday.
Our drive home was good. We reflected on the highlights and lowlights of the trip. The Gehman visit was by-far our top highlight. We just loved them. We totally have a friend crush.
Hearing about a possible music position was a surprising highlight, and one that will kind-of linger until we find out more.
Visualizing the area, the church, and the seminary was HUGE! If Bobby had a reality check, I had a major reality check too. Because now I don’t have a vague cloudy dream of “seminary.” But instead I have locations, streets, buildings, faces, smells, parks, sounds, and feels to refer back to. Tangible things have replaced curious questions. The idea of seminary is no longer an idea. It’s a real thing. And the trip definitely accomplished exactly what I wanted it to accomplish. I can visualize something.
Lowlights? Well Bobby kind of got dizzy/nauseous from driving so much. So that was kind of a buzz kill to have a half-healthy husband half of the time.
We also had the nastiest ice cream and milkshake ever made by mankind. My ice cream was decent, but Bobby’s “milkshake” was more like a “mudshake.” Don’t go to Milk Jam. Unless you like dairy-free mud.
Coming home to see, hug, and tickle our kids was wonderful. But, to be honest, it kind of sorta doesn’t feel like home any more? Does that happen when you start to contemplate moving? I don’t know. Maybe all you military and move-a-lot people out there are rolling your eyes at my newbiness. But, for some reason, home just wasn’t as satisfying as I expected it to be.
You guys, I love change. You ask my parents, you ask my husband, you ask anyone, and they will tell you I love change. I probably love change too much. So coming home was like, “Oh yeah, we aren’t moved yet. Nothing has really actually changed.” Going to Minnesota, getting all the seminary vibes, then coming back home, was just… trippy (pun intended). I just so feel in limbo it’s not even funny. I feel sentimental. I feel confused. I don’t know where to put my heart. I don’t know where to put my time. I don’t know where my loyalty lies! Nebraska or Minnesota?!
So we’re home. But maybe not home. I told Bobby as we were driving back to Nebraska that, “Isn’t it weird that we are driving home? But someday the other way will be driving home? But, really actually, both ways will be driving back home right? When we go back to Nebraska, we will say we are going back home, and when we drive back home to Minnesota we will say we are going home.”
So as trippy and confusing as it is, I feel like our definition of “home” might be getting a little rocked. Home is bringing in all new meanings. Home is becoming a weird and spread out concept. But I think I like it. I think it’s cool. I like the change. And maybe Minnesota will just be a temporary home. And maybe Nebraska will have been a temporary home.
I feel like I should insert the cheesy quote that is stitched or knitted on every home-warming gift ever: Home is where your heart is! (are you picturing clipart houses, dorky florals, and cursive font here?!)
Can’t talk about home unless you throw that one in!
Well, my heart is with my husband. My heart is with my kids. My heart is with my family and friends. My heart is ultimately and forever with Jesus. So that closes this discussion pretty quick. Thank you over-used quote for answering my life problems!
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens… So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:1,6-7)