Okay! Time for a recap! (insert cool ninja background music). It has been quite the ordeal this past week. I had NO IDEA that major life decisions were so… roller coaster. And for Bobby and I, well we can be a little intense. Bobby is the dreamer idealist, and I’m the crazy adventurist. So add those two up, and you get a week of…. intense intensity. Oh boy did it get intense. I would describe the past 6 days as so:
Day 1: Seminary? Let’s go to England!!! (the dreamer stage)
Day 2: That’s it. Seminary. It makes complete sense. (the pros and cons stage)
Day 3: But… our life? We love our life. (the counting costs stage)
Day 4: Our family! We can’t leave our family! (the emotional stage)
Day 5: Are we crazy? (the doubting stage)
Day 6: Let’s just take a deep breath. Why are we pursuing this? (the dreamer stage and pros and cons stage combined with a more mature thought-process)
So today is day 7. I feel like we have better heads on our shoulders, and I hope we have even better heads on our shoulders in 7 more days, or even in 7 more months!
Our wonderful and wise parents have asked us about a billion questions that have forced us to slow down. I called it “wise friction.” Not friction to stop us, but friction to make us think through ALL THE THINGS.
And boy does it feel like have we thought through ALL. THE. THINGS.
Why seminary? Why now? What about the kids? What about your family? What about extended family? How can you do it financially? Are there any other ways? What are more possibilities? Is this Godly discontentment or worldly discontentment? What is it you are truly after? How did this come up? What would this look like? What could it look like? Can we slow down? Is there something you are missing about your current life now? Are your feelings driving you or facts driving you?
We have rigorously thought through as much as we possibly can. It has been nothing but seminary talk ALL WEEK LONG. And I think I have felt the need to defend and answer every single question (which is why it has gotten so intense).
But now I feel what I would call maturing freedom. I feel free to answer questions, but mature to not answer a question, and just let it sit. I feel free to dream, but mature to let it cook. I feel free to desire, but mature to think. I feel free to seek adventure, but mature to analyze our hearts and intentions. I feel free to figure it out, but mature to not need to figure it all out right now. I feel free to say yes, but mature to flesh out the nos. I feel free to think about it as much as I want, but mature to stop thinking about it and just live life today.
So, day 7?
Day 7: Let’s have fun dreaming while also being realistic in our thinking. Let’s slow it down! (the maturing freedom stage)